Buffy Plays With Demons

May242013

“When you are a young woman and your body becomes a reminder of tragedy, how can you ever come to love it?” I wrote in that secluded cabin in Banff; “You yourself become a crime scene — a place of mourning you carry with you every day. Something tolerated, hated or, most commonly, ignored. I am happy for those people who see the body as a tool of empowerment, a vessel for pleasure and strength, but I’ve had to unlearn mine as a site of violence out of necessity.”

Stacey May Fowles The National Post sexual assault sexual violence street harassment sexual harassment rape rape culture personal autonomy bodily rights Toronto

May222013

“Was she asking for it?”

Asking For It Hole Courtney Love rape culture rape sexual assault sexual violence America misogyny society

May192013

Terrorist Heavens To Betsy Riot Grrrl Revolution Girl Style NOW! street harassment sexual harassment rape culture

2PM

“Walking down the street — 3am, staring at my feet. Keep the bitchface on so they’ll leave you alone. We shouldn’t have to live in constant fear just cause some dumbfuck can’t handle his beer. Show them who has the power here. ‘Cause they can yell and they can leer, but you’re the stronger one, dear. They won’t ever shut us up — they can try but they’ll fail. ‘Cause there’s strength in numbers, and there’s more of us than them. Tell all your girlfriends and we’ll fuck their shit up. We’ve got your backs if you have ours — we’ll have those motherfuckers seeing stars. Consenting culture, grrrlz — it’s kind of a thing. You can keep your curls and your diamond rings. We don’t care if you’re waiting for your white knight. Give an enthusiastic YES! Or put up a fucking fight. Show the boys we aren’t to be used, ‘cause we’re all well-versed on what it’s like to be abused. You don’t have to give up anything, just don’t be an asshole — it’s kind of a thing.”

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May172013

"The “wives, sisters, daughters” line of argument comes up all the fucking time. President Obama even used it in his State of the Union address this year, saying, “We know our economy is stronger when our wives, mothers, and daughters can live their lives free from discrimination in the workplace, and free from the fear of domestic violence.” This device, which Obama has used on more than one occasion, is reductive as hell. It defines women by their relationships to other people, rather than as people themselves. It says that women are only important when they are married to, have given birth to, or have been fathered by other people. It says that women are only important because of who they belong to. Women are not possessions. Women are people. I seriously cannot believe that I have to say this in 2013."

The Belle Jar rape rape culture Steubenville rape case Riot Grrrl Revolution Girl Style NOW! society America United States human rights 2013 President Obama patriarchy sexism women bodily rights personal autonomy

May112013

rape rape culture consent Riot Grrrl Revolution Girl Style NOW! personal autonomy bodily rights self-ownership human rights society

12AM

"The fact that rape threats are a thing, says a lot about how rape isn’t a lapse in self-control, but often a tool to punish & control others."

rape rape culture abuse of power society sexual violence sexual abuse Steph Guthrie amirightfolks twitter

12AM

(via sansastone)

Riot Grrrl Revolution Girl Style NOW! sexism misogyny rape culture society male privilege Nice Guy Syndrome male entitlement body policing patches violence street harassment sexual harassment personal autonomy human rights

May102013

“Here’s the thing. Men in our culture have been socialized to believe that their opinions on women’s appearance matter a lot. Not all men buy into this, of course, but many do. Some seem incapable of entertaining the notion that not everything women do with their appearance is for men to look at. This is why men’s response to women discussing stifling beauty norms is so often something like “But I actually like small boobs!” and “But I actually like my women on the heavier side, if you know what I mean!” They don’t realize that their individual opinion on women’s appearance doesn’t matter in this context, and that while it might be reassuring for some women to know that there are indeed men who find them fuckable, that’s not the point of the discussion. Women, too, have been socialized to believe that the ultimate arbiters of their appearance are men, that anything they do with their appearance is or should be “for men.” That’s why women’s magazines trip over themselves to offer up advice on “what he wants to see you wearing” and “what men think of these current fashion trends” and “wow him with these new hairstyles.” While women can and do judge each other’s appearance harshly, many of us grew up being told by mothers, sisters, and female strangers that we’ll never “get a man” or “keep a man” unless we do X or lose some fat from Y, unless we moisturize//trim/shave/push up/hide/show/”flatter”/paint/dye/exfoliate/pierce/surgically alter this or that. That’s also why when a woman wears revealing clothes, it’s okay, in our society, to assume that she’s “looking for attention” or that she’s a slut and wants to sleep with a bunch of guys. Because why else would a woman wear revealing clothes if not for the benefit of men and to communicate her sexual availability to them, right? It can’t possibly have anything to do with the fact that it’s hot out or it’s more comfortable or she likes how she looks in it or everything else is in the laundry or she wants to get a tan or maybe she likes women and wants attention from them, not from men? The result of all this is that many men, even kind and well-meaning men, believe, however subconsciously, that women’s bodies are for them. They are for them to look at, for them to pass judgment on, for them to bless with a compliment if they deign to do so. They are not for women to enjoy, take pride in, love, accept, explore, show off, or hide as they please. They are for men and their pleasure."

4AM

“You painted a naked woman because you enjoyed looking at her, put a mirror in her hand and you called the painting “Vanity,” thus morally condemning the woman whose nakedness you had depicted for you own pleasure.”

Riot Grrrl women in art society rape culture misogyny creepshot slut shaming sexual objectification sexism John Berger Ways of Seeing

4AM

(Source: clementinevonradics, via iamrealindsey)

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May32013

April252013

"In eight grade they told us, "It's difficult for boys not to touch you when you wear revealing clothes." I saw red but didn't know why. It would be 4 years before I learned the words "rape culture". All those years I could only think: "I hope they didn't teach the boys that thing". That thing that made my stomach churn for lack of words. Why hadn't they taught us like my mother had? THAT NOBODY HAD THE RIGHT TO TOUCH YOU WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION -- that an adult could always be trusted to protect you? 5 years after 8th grade I saw the effects of those same teachings. The star basketball player protected while his 2 victims persecuted by their peers. After all, it was hard for him, right? I am too tired for words."

kargu Kara A. kargu.tumblr.com rape rape culture sexual assault sexual violence Riot Grrrl Revolution Girl Style NOW! slut shaming society misogyny personal autonomy bodily rights human rights America United States high school education

April232013

"We felt we couldn't show weakness; we couldn't complain; we didn't want to talk about how hot it was or how much we missed home. When you come back from a patrol, all of the guys drop their gear. They complain about how exhausted they are; they complain about how much that patrol sucked. Of course, that was kind of our moment—"It wasn't that bad"—even though inside we're probably wanting to die . . . A male soldier told me, "You can't fireman-carry me with a full combat load"—meaning I have my Kevlar on, my flak jacket, my weapon, and my gear. He was probably 190 to 200 pounds; your gear adds another fifty to eighty pounds. I picked him up and walked across the compound, which was probably fifty meters, and came back, and he was like, "But still—would you be able to do that with your adrenaline going?" . . . That night I was the gunner, because we were short a soldier. Our convoy was about halfway to our destination when we hit a spot in the road where we have to really slow down. I have the night-vision goggle on one eye, and all of a sudden I can hear these loud snaps right by my head. I dropped down, and I was like, "Shit. Here we go." I started returning fire with my smaller weapons, and then I could see, far away in the brush, muzzle flashes. So I started unloading the .50-cal, and I just let it rock. I can't even describe that rush. Round for round, you're shooting back and forth. It was insane. Then the muzzle flashes stopped. The thing about that story is, nobody believed me. Some of the senior leadership thought I made it up just so I could shoot the gun." . . . It seemed as if a lot of these guys had really major misconceptions about female anatomy. They were like, "What about the hygiene issue?" I'm like, "What do you mean?" And they're like, "You know." I'm like, "No, I don't know." And they would never actually be willing to say, "Won't you get an infection in your vagina?" They were terrified of it. They were like, "But...but...but...periods!" We don't die without showers . . . I got off the plane, and this guy walks up to me and says, "Fuck, it's a female. We don't have females in this unit." The drive to Kosovo took three hours. Somewhere along the way he looks at me and he goes, "Females are either psychos, whores, or dykes. Which one are you?" . . . Every time I'd ever experienced any type of sexual harassment, the response from guys was always "How you going to ruin some man's career just because you can't take it?" Like, that literal phrase. They would say, "This is a man's army; how did you expect to be treated?" The subtle implication was that a man's career was always more important than a woman's . . . Finally we take off, at which point we see one of the fuel lines has ruptured. We need to land or we're going to crash. It's a hard landing. We start taking heavier fire on my side of the aircraft. One of the three patients on board, a female, is hysterical, and my gunner says to me, "This is why they shouldn't let women on those kinds of convoys." I look at him. I'm armed, I'm covered in blood, and I'm like, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

April172013

This is not a joke. You’re not being at all clever. It’s dark and I’m alone and you’re bigger than I am. Probably stronger. So when you cruise by and say, “Hey baby, you don’t need to call me, I’m already here” and “Your ride’s here, baby girl”, you’re nothing to me but another threat — another obstacle between me and my way home. But you get pissed off because I refuse to laugh. Well, I don’t have to smile. I don’t fucking owe you my goddamn smile. My smile is not some fucking peace treaty between us. Your attempt at humorous flirtation is gross and misplaced. Get lost.

Thoughts Portland street harassment rape culture by Karl Faust sexual harassment Riot Grrrl Revolution Girl Style NOW!

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